Anonymous asked: What does it look like, the taking a risk on someone if you like them?
Well, see I think there’s usually that moment when you’re like oh god fuck what no ahh what if i am imagining everything oh shit oh god and your vision gets kind of blurry and you usually turn around or keep walking or throw your phone across the room and lie face down on your bed—that? that facedown bed lying or sad sack park bench sitting? Instead of that you hit call or send or ring the bell or keep going even though like, your eyes aren’t focused and you’re sweating and dizzy and don’t know why anyone would take you seriously as a human being but you don’t care, because you know the worst thing that could happen is you feel stupid, which is actually pretty awful and will happen again and again, but what else can you do?
Which is kind of cool I think, because you get to say implicitly basically that, Hey, I like you enough that I am willing to traverse this awful frightening confusing time OH GOD I CAN’T BREATHE, etc. And then later laugh about it and be like Hey remember when I couldn’t breathe? And they’ll be like, Ha ha yeah that was hilarious because I didn’t even like you like that. And you’ll be like, goddammit, this again? And then you blame yourself, as you should, and then you hesitate more the next time, which is fair—more sweating, less articulation. Or maybe some people get better at it as they go. Maybe they storm in with a hand on their hip or a good Lean and they don’t pace and their mouths don’t get dry and they always fall in love or they always think what the other person is thinking too and there is no like, parsing of the connotations or what have you. But whatever fuck that. BE AN IDIOT FOR PEOPLE.
