This AT&T guy was actually too chatty. I felt like I was on the phone with my Dad and about to lie and tell him I was “at the train” and had to go.

(jk, Dad, I never do that).

When I called him up and said I just got my first bill and had some questions he, in his amazing Midwestern accent, was like, OH MAN YOUR FIRST BILL YUP LEMME PULL IT UP ON MY SCREEN, O MAN, SORRY, I GOT THE HOURGLASS — chuckle, chuckle— I’m tryin to load your page, As soon as you said, “I got my first bill,” I knew, I had a woman call who had 400 extra dollars on her page I swear to god it was crazy, okay let me go over this with you—

Well, I just, I just want to know if this is a bill for the past four days, like, are you charging me for June even though I only got this phone a week ago, or is it for the next month?

OH MAN SO HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR IPHONE? WE ARE TRAINED EXTENSIVELY TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE WITH THEIR FIRST BILLS, YA KNOW, AND WE SAW THIS VIDEO AND I WAS LIKE O MAN I NEVER WANTED AN IPHONE YA KNOW IT’S SO EXPENSIVE BUT THEN I SAW ALL THOSE COOL GADGETS AND GIZMOS IT DID AND YA KNOW, IT’S JUST LIKE ALL STUFF THEY COME OUT WITH, IT’S SO EXPENSIVE AT FIRST..

— Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Yeah i really love it. I do. Okay—

LIKE BACK IN THE DAY WHEN THE NINTENDO WAS THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS YA KNOW?

—Heh, yeah…Okay, so, I think I’m good to go—

OKAY WELL IF YOU WANT TO UP YOUR TEXT PLAN, I MEAN I’VE SEEN PEOPLE WHO USE FOUR THOUSAND TEXTS IN TWO WEEKS, huck, huck

Oh, wow. Yeah… I mean, hopefully 1500 texts is enough..

WELL YA NEVER KNOW, ONCE PEOPLE FIND OUT WHAT A GREAT TEXT PLAN YOU HAVE THEY MAY BE LIKE, OOH SHE HAS SO MANY TEXTS, LET ME JUST TEXT HER…

Well, hm. Let’s hope not!

WELL REMEMBER YOU CAN ALWAYS TEXT *DATA TO CHECK HOW MANY YOU’VE USED. AND YOU CAN SEE HOW MUCH DATA YOU USE TOO YA KNOW, THOSE IPHONE USE LIKE 8000 KILOBYTES [i actually have no idea what number he said, or what number is appropriate, shut up, guys] I MEAN IT IS WILD, SO IF YOU EVER WANNA CHECK THAT, IT IS STUNNING.

Oh. Well, I, I don’t have to pay for that right, I mean, I have unlimited data, right?

OH, OH YEAH. I MEAN YOU ARE DEFINITELY PAYING FOR IT, BUT YEAH, IT IS UNLIMITED. BUT IT IS PRETTY AMAZING. IT’S JUST SORT OF FUN TO CHECK.