This morning on the way into the office I saw a group of leather-skinned adults taking pictures of each other in front of the coffee shop next door, cigarettes in mouth, hands grabbing crotches. I wondered why anyone would be taking pictures in front of Fika; it’s not exactly a New York institution, just another damn overpriced coffee shop with a few scones thrown in for good measure. But I figured, okay fine they seem to be having a good time, whatever, but whither the crotch-grabbing? wherefore the open mouth? how did this woman manage to stand with her mouth open without her cigarette falling out? wut a badass?

then I got closer to them and heard an errant, ADESSO!! and realized they were Italian and realized the coffee shop was called Fika and remembered that fica means a pretty dirty version of your bathing-suit area in Italian except it also means COOL or AWESOME because Italians know what’s up way more than we do and my GOD isn’t this coffee shop Italian anyways except the letter K doesn’t exist in Italian and HOW DID I FORGET THAT FICA MEANS VAGINA? I am a betrayal to myself.