I can’t decide one way or another about gift cards.

Right now I’m sitting here staring at this motherfucking $100 american express gift card my dad gave me (thanks for reading, dad! :D ) that currently has a balance of 0 because, according to the customer service representative, I tried to use it at a gas station. Clearly the gas station attendant stole the frigging number from it because I remember they took it in the back and did all this crazy god knows what with it, probably slid it up each others butts while charging the remaining 92.00 so that they could buy skoal and beef jerky and various confederate flag paraphernalia. What kills me is how fucking accomodating I was, told them I wasn’t in a hurry, apologized for God’s sake and offered to pay cash instead.

The story here is, why the gift card? Why gift cards? Dad, i still have the last Bath & Body Works gift card you gave me. I don’t use lotions. I don’t use “shower gel,” I don’t know what “that means”.

But then I think back to the days when I had no money whatsoever, but I did have a damn Starbucks card or something. And I would then eat every meal at Starbucks. That was nice? Or when I got those…scarves…at..The Gap?

I can’t wait to explain to my landlord why my rent check bounced, smelling of Sea Island Cotton and a triple grande soy latte.